


Stuck in the locker

by slut_for_jan_and_trixya



Series: Our story together [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lesbian AU, Love Confessions, Surpirisngly crystal is more sane than jackie, Useless Lesbians, don't read if you don't like angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24391156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slut_for_jan_and_trixya/pseuds/slut_for_jan_and_trixya
Summary: Jan is shoved in a locker. Shenanigans ensue. I suck at summaries I am so sorry.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Series: Our story together [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759813
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	Stuck in the locker

Jackie had never been popular. She was a student at St Charles, where the majority consisted of racist homophobes who took bullying to the extreme, for Christ’s sake. She would never be popular. Honestly Jackie was lucky she had friends, even if she only had three. Crystal and Jan were the redeeming factor of this living hell that provided Jackie a subpar education. Jan and Jackie were a double package, attached at the hip and kept to themselves. Until Crystal burst into the scene, causing the other two to immediately adopt her into their circle. There was something about Crystal that was lovable and euphoric. She had a nostalgic, child-like presence that made you want to protect her from all the harm in the world. Although it was a mystery as to why the platinum blonde Barbie doll hated her so much. Gigi Goode, the nicest of the most powerful group of girls in the school, loathed Crystal. And though insults were a massive step down from the blatant violence that Nicky and Dahlia brought onto other people, this was still a shock to the two girls who had known Gigi for most of their life. Jackie had always admired Gigi from afar, wondering why this girl who was so clearly suffering in her popularity continued with this meaningless pantomime that convinced no one. 

Jan and Jackie had grown up together, their motto being “cradle to grave.” And coming from crowded Christian and Muslim backgrounds, neither had a forgiving or understanding family, thus allowing both the girls to find solace only in one another. Both queer and terrified of the world, it was a feeling that was understood by few. Neither was popular, of course, but Jan was still substantially more beloved than Jackie due to a voice that could rival Orpheus and a body that coveted the attention of many. 

To this day, Jackie had no idea why Jan stuck around. Jan, who was pretty enough to join the big leagues and talented enough to leave this dreary, dead-beat town. She had been offered many scholarships, many opportunities from expensive, prestigious musical theatre schools, but Jan turned every one of them down. Her parents had offered her many opportunities to study with family in Italy or England, but Jan turned them down. She had been given coveted spots in cliques that many would’ve killed to receive, but still, Jan stuck around. 

She never said exactly why, but Jackie knew it was because of her. She knew that Jan was loyal, possibly more loyal than any person could be. But loyalty or a chance at a life? Jackie loved Jan, as a friend, maybe more, she didn’t know yet. All she knew was that she loved her and that Jan deserved better than a slow-paced life filled with regret and buried dreams. And when Jan turned down an especially well-known music program in favor of doing a Literature program with Jackie, Jackie realized she couldn’t be complicit anymore. The guilt ate away at her, until she combusted and Jackie finally confronted her. Jackie confronted her as to why she kept turning down opportunities to leave this life of mediocrity, a sad smile would cross her face as she stroked Jackie’s cheek, and as she pursed her lips.

“Cradle to grave, Jackie.”

“I know but you can’t keep turning down opportunities to be with me. What if Julliard offers you a scholarship?”

“Then I’ll turn them down unless you get into a college in New York.”

“Jan, that’s insane. Julliard?!”

“Yes, Julliard.” It infuriated her how calm Jan was despite Jackie’s growing hysteria.

“Jan, baby. Why?”

“Because I want to.” Jan blurted out quickly before her eyes began shifting nervously. A chink in her armor. Jackie had to take advantage of this. There was still a chance that she could convince Jan to take up that music program. 

“No you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do. You don’t know my thoughts.”

“Cradle to grave, Jan. I know your thoughts like the back of my hand.”

“Then you would know I don’t want to go.” Jan clenched down on her jaw, visibly frustrated. Jackie hated seeing her like this, but she had to continue pressing. 

“Don’t lie to me, Jan.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Don’t tell me that you don’t want to do that music program.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. Why are you doing this? Are you doing this out of pity, because you feel bad for me? Because I’ll be fine on my own. You can go and do your thing. I’m always going to be proud of you, you know. I won’t be mad. But I can’t let you just let these opportunities past by you just because you don’t want to you me alone-”

“I DON’T WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE WITHOUT  **YOU** !” Jan stood up abruptly as tears began to spill from her eyes. Her lips trembled as she grabbed Jackie’s face between her hands. “I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU! What about that do you not understand, Jackie? I don’t ever want you to leave me. Yes, I want to leave this town. Yes, I want to do more music programs. And yes, I do want to go to Julliard. But I don’t want to do any of that if it means leaving you. Don’t you get it, Jackie? I don’t want to leave you.”

Jackie walked over and scooped Jan up onto her lap and into an embrace. She wanted to hold her until everything was okay, hold her until she stopped crying because the sound of Jan crying hurt more than the thought of Jan leaving. Whenever Jan cried it felt like the world stopped and everything was out of place, out of proportion. It just felt wrong, and so completely, unlike Jan. So Jackie stroked her hair gently while Jan’s tears soaked the surface of her shirt. It was okay, she had like twenty other identical ones. 

“I don’t want to abandon you.”

“You wouldn’t be abandoning me, I would be able to move on with life. Granted I would still miss you with every fiber of my being, but I would be fine.” 

“But I wouldn’t, okay? I would spend every day overwhelmed by how much I missed everything about your stupid face. How much I miss your eyes even though you always say they're boring. How much I miss your nose even though you hate that it’s a little crooked. How much I miss your hair even though you hate how it takes a gallon of rose-scented shampoo to untangle it. I would miss everything about you. Every little part that you hate is every little part that I love. I wouldn’t be able to look at crawfish without thinking of your allergies. I wouldn’t be able to read books without thinking of how you would chastise me for folding the pages. I wouldn’t be able to breathe because you are the only thing that keeps me from drowning, okay? So this isn’t about you, Jackie. It’s about me. Because I need you more than you need me. I always have.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know for a fact that you love me as a friend.”

“Of course I love you as a friend.”

“And I know for a fact that I don’t.” Jackie’s blood ran cold as her heart slowed to a stop. Of course Jan didn’t love her. She missed her, that was all. Jackie was all Jan had ever known, all Jan had ever tried. If given a sample of a richer, more luscious flavor, she would gladly go running into the sunset with whichever girl was lucky enough to call her their own. Jackie loved Jan, and she had always suspected Jan didn’t love her. But to have her worst fears affirmed by the person who she had thought would never be the one to say them hurt more than she thought they would. It was one thing for Dahlia to tell Jackie that she was not loved, but it was another for Jan to actually say it. 

“Okay.” Jackie stood up abruptly, pushing Jan off her lap and onto the floor. Her heart clenched as the sound of Jan’s delicate skin bruising filled the air. “I see how it is.”

“No, Jackie-”

“No I get it, It’s fine.” She mustered through angry tears. 

“I do love you, I-”

“No, now you’re just saying it because you feel bad.” Jackie turns and walks down the hall ignoring the tears stinging in her eyes and Jan’s desperate pleas. 

“No Jackie. Jackie. Don’t go. No please don’t leave me. Please. Please.” 

Jan sobbed as she cradled her knees in her arms. She was so stupid. How could she be so stupid? She had done the one thing, the one thing she hadn’t wanted to do. She had lost Jackie. She did so many things in an effort not to lose Jackie. She had endured endless bullying, completely wrecked her future, and ignored countless girls who had shown interest in her for Jackie. Not that it had been hard. Focusing on Jackie was the easiest thing to do in the world because in Jan’s eyes, that’s all the world inhabited. That’s all the world was. Jackie. Jackie was everything. Jackie was the lingering scent of pine in Jan’s hair after a trip to the woods. Jackie was the way the sky turned pink when the sun decided to bleed into the skyline. Jackie was all things beautiful and all things ugly and most importantly, something Jan didn’t want to lose. 

Of course Jan loved Jackie. She loved Jackie with every ounce of her breaking heart. But she didn’t love her as a friend. She loved her the way a starving man loves a meal. She loved her the way waves love the shore. She loved her the way the soup clings onto the back of the spoon, staining the shiny metal. She loved her the way Romeo had loved Juliet, Elio had loved Oliver. Jan loved Jackie the way she loved music because to her, Jackie was her safe place. A place where she knew and felt loved understood and cared for unconditionally. With Jackie she could be angry, vulnerable, and irritated in a manner she could never be around others. With Jackie, she could be herself. And that was something that was infinitely valuable. Something that she might have just lost forever. 

“Bonjour, Cheri.” A chill ran down Jan’s spine as she recognized the distinctly french accent and the mocking tone. “So a little birdie told me that you told Ms. Davenport that I copied off of Jackie’s test.”

Nicky smiled menacingly at Jackie as Dahlia smirked in the background and Gigi bit her fingernails nervously. She was mouthing words at Jan. Jan wrinkled her eyes as she wiped her face clean of tears to get a better view. Gigi’s eyes were now widening with panic as she mouthed the word more aggressively. 

Run.

Oh.

That’s what Jan did. She had tried to run but instead ran smack first into a locker and the sounds of Nicky’s laughter echoed with her shame.

“Oh you pathetic little thing. You tried to run.”

“Please don’t hurt me.”

“A bit late for that now, don’t you think.” Nicky let out a punch and sent Jan flying across the floor, her body hitting the ground with a thud. She was going to feel those bruises tomorrow. Nicky grabbed the base of her feet and Dahlia held onto her shoulders. Of course Jan tried to defend herself, but in her weakened state, all the kicking and screaming in the world wouldn’t have made a difference. 

“Let me GO!”

“Oh you wish, bitch.” They pushed her into the locker abruptly, locking it from the outside before passing the key to a horrified Gigi. 

“Geege?” Nicky said, irritation coloring her voice. “Keep this safe for me, will ya?”

“S-Sure, Nicky.”

“Thank you, Cheri.”

The other two girls walked away, leaving Gigi staring into Jan’s eyes through the tiny gap in the metal, terror mirroring in one another. She waited until the sound of manic laughter died down before Gigi rushed to Jan.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“A little, but nothing too bad.” Jan was shocked. She knew Gigi was the best out of the three of them, but she was shocked to find an ounce of humanity in her. “Can you let me out?”

“I’m so sorry, but if I let you out with the key, they’ll know it was me and then we’ll both be in a locker together. But I can do this. I can find Jackie and after the school day ends, she can come to get you.”

“Why until the school day ends?”

“Any shorter and Nicky will know. If the locker is forcibly pulled open, then they won’t suspect shit. I’ll meet you here in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Wait, let me slide you this granola bar. It’s gonna be a couple of hours. Hang in there okay?”

“Thank you, Gigi.” Gigi smiled sadly as she slid the granola bar through the slot. She knew that if they got caught, there would be hell to pay. But right now, Gigi didn’t care. All she cared about was getting the nice theatre kid who smiled at everybody in the halls out of this locker and as quietly as possible. 

“What is Jackie’s next class?”

“Calculus.”

“I don’t take that.”

“What’s your next class?”

“Art. Why?”

“Crystal takes that next.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to her.”

“Thank you, Gigi. I could kiss you!”

“We both know I’m not the one you want to kiss.” Jan sucked in a breath and looked at Gigi with sadness in her eyes. 

“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

“No.”

“Thank you. So much.” Gigi smiled once more before turning to walk away. But Jan called out her name once more.

  
“Gigi?”

“Yes?”

“You’re a really good person.” 

  
  


Crystal stared at the clock wondering why Gigi hadn’t arrived yet. Crystal had never known the blonde to ever be late to an art lesson and her mind jumped to the worst of conclusions instantly. Turns out, she hadn’t been far off. Gigi slid delicately into the seat in front of her before placing a note delicately on her table. She made brief, but substantial eye contact with Crystal. Enough to let her know that this was important. 

_ Jan ratted on Nicky for copying on Jackie. Jan is locked in a locker. N23, next to the Math Block. I have the key. We can’t get her out for another couple hours otherwise Nicky and Dahlia will suspect something. DO NOT TRY TO GET HER OUT BEFORE THIS TIME, OR THE THREE OF US WILL END UP STUCK IN A LOCKER. Meet me outside the locker at 3:45. Before you leave. Ask Ms. Betty if you can borrow a wrench or hammer. Say your Dad lost a tool and can’t afford to replace it. We can not let her out with the key, it needs to be forcibly broken open. Do not make eye contact with me, Nicky, or Dahlia throughout the day. Show this note to Jackie.  _

_ -Gigi _

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This was bad. This was really bad. This was very, very bad. Jan was in a locker and she would remain in the locker for another 3 hours before they could do anything to get her out. Crystal couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. She had to do something. Crystal had seen the lockers, there was barely enough space to fit a small child, let alone Jan. She needed to get to her. She had to do something. No. Gigi was right. One wrong move and the results could be catastrophic. This had to be planned carefully, in a manner that ensured no further damage to Jan. Crystal hated to admit but a rush of adrenaline coursed through her veins at the idea of working closely with Gigi Goode. But Jan came first. This was not a situation about her or Gigi or anything else. It was about making sure one of the few people to show her kindness in this school did not suffocate to death. 

“JAN’S INSIDE A LOCKER?!”

“JACKIE, BE QUIET.” Jackie let out an exasperated gasp she tried to prevent the anger from taking over her body. Why did Jan have to stand up for her? Had she simply allowed it to slide like the rest of society did, she would be safe right now. In Jackie’s arms, talking through their problems. This was all her fault. Had she not stormed off like a petulant child, she would’ve been able to safely whisk away Jan from the danger of the situation and prevent her from being STUCK IS A FUCKING LOCKER. She could have prevented this. But no, she was selfish and self-centered and childish. Everything that Jan was not. And who was suffering because of it? Jan. 

Jackie wanted to scream at the universe and beg on bended knees for it to punish her for her crimes instead of Jan. Jan had been hurt enough. More than enough. What did Jackie do to deserve Jan? What did she do to deserve this beautiful, kind, whole person who devoted themselves to Jackie and was willing to throw away every chance at a future just to be with her? No, the universe was cruel. Cruel and unfair. Unfair to Jan in every sense of the word. Would Jan leave her after this? Would she finally realize that pursuing her career was worth so much more than Jackie? Jackie smiled. That’s what she deserved. A dazzling career and a dazzling life and for her to shine the way she was destined to. She deserved that. 

“Jackie, when I said be quiet, I didn’t mean fucking silent.” And with that Jackie burst into tears. This was all her fault. This was her fault. She was a terrible person. Malicious. Self-serving. A coward. And now Jan had to reap the repercussions of her stupidity because she turned a blind eye when Nicky Doll copied off her work. She was so stupid. Worthless. Jackie was worthless. A stupid, worthless human being who Jan wold eventually leave because that’s what Jackie deserved. To be left alone so that she couldn’t hurt anybody. Jackie was a virus, infecting all that came into contact with it and killing them slowly. Lord knows how Jan had endured her for so long. And was a terrible person. She was a terrible person. She was a terrible person. She didn’t deserve Crystal. She didn’t deserve Jan. She didn’t deserve to live. Jackie deserved to die alone and friendless in an agonizing fashion to make up for the pain that she was causing Jan. Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.

“Stupid! Stupid!” Jackie screamed as Crystal tried to calm her down. “Stupid! I’m so fucking stupid!” 

“Jackie, please. Please, calm down.”

“I can’t calm down because this is MY FUCKING FAULT!” She shrieked hysterically and thrashed while Crystal tried to hold her still. “It’s my fucking fault! If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have gone after her. And we had a fucking fight because I told to pursue her fucking passions because that’s what she deserves but then she told me she doesn’t love me and I left her alone and BASICALLY IT’S MY FAULT, CRYSTAL.”

“Jackie, honey.” Crystal massaged her back in circular motions. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“How?”

“Did you know this was going to happen?”

“No but still-”

“If you didn’t have any malicious intentions, then you’re guiltless okay?”

“Okay.” Crystal giggled and wiped the tears away from Jackie’s face, pulling her into a tight embrace on the dingy bathroom floor.

“Now, what’s this talk of Jan not loving you.”

“She said she didn’t love me.”

“In exact words please, Jaqueline.” Jackie sighs, her brow furrowing. 

“So she said that she needed me more than I needed her. And I asked her how? And then she asked me if I loved her as a friend and I said that I did but she said that she knew for a fact that she didn’t.” Crystal just stared at Jackie dumbfounded for a couple of minutes before slapping her violently on the arm.

“YOU FUCKING USELESS LESBIAN!”

“What?!”

“She doesn’t love you as a friend Jackie.”

“Way to rub it in.” Jackie let out a humorless laugh.

“No you fucking moron, she’s in love with you.” 

“What?! NO.”

“YES.”

“No.”

“Jackie, anyone with a set of working eyes can see that Jan is head over ass in love with you. And anyone with a set of working eyes can see that you are head over heels in love with Jan.”

“How-”

“She stares at you when you’re not looking. All the damn time. She looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars and painted the damn galaxy in colors. And you. You idolize her the way no one idolizes people that they're friends with. You want her to get out of this town so badly because you think that you’re beneath her and all you want is what’s best for her. You love her so much that you would rather lose her forever than to see her waste a drop of her potential.”

“But that doesn’t mean we’re in love with each other.” Crystal lets out a frustrated scream.

“Okay. Have you ever thought about kissing Jan?”

“Yes, but not like every day.”

“The fact that you mention that implies that it is every day.”

“What color are her eyes?”

“Brown.”

"What are her allergies?"

"None. She only has mild sensitivities when it comes to lactose."

“Blood Type.”

“AB+”

“Okay the fact that you didn’t even need to think twice about that is definitely a signal.”

“Lots of people know that about their best friends.”

“Why are you still single, then.”

“No one likes me, Crystal.”

“That Vanessa girl liked you. That tall ass supermodel bitch called Detox liked you. Hell, I think even Jaida Essense Hall liked you at some point.”

“Hall’s straight.”

“Girl please, she is very clearly a rainbow rider.” Crystal sighed again. She was tired. “The point is, all these people like you and you knew it. Why didn’t you go after them?”

“Because I didn’t like them back.”

“Wrong answer. You didn’t go after them because you would rather spend the evening doing adult coloring books with Jan while listening to some obscure musical theatre soundtrack.” A mixture of realization and horror began to dawn on Jackie. 

“Oh fuck.” Crystal smiled. FINALLY. 

“I’m in love with Jan.”

“Yes you are.”

“But she’s not in love with me.” Jackie’s face drooped sadly and Crystal thought the physical urge to slap her. 

“YES SHE IS, YOU DUMBASS BITCH.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“Look. Do you trust me, Jackie?”

“Yes.”

“Then trust me on this. She loves you. A lot. AND OH MY GOD IT’S 3:40, LET’S GO FUCKING RELEASE YOUR WOMAN.”

  
  


Gigi paced back and forth anxiously. What if they didn’t show. What if she was left here all alone to try and figure out a way to use her weak, flimsy limbs to bust open an incredibly strong piece of metal.

“Gigi, stop pacing.”

“What if Crystal didn’t get the message to Jackie. What if Nicky found out, then we’re both fucked. Oh my god, Jan. I’m a fucking twig, I can’t bust you out of here.”

“Jackie will come through, I know she will,” Jan says with a sense of unwavering belief. Jan didn’t believe in God. She didn’t believe in Heaven. She didn’t believe in Hell. But she did believe in angels. And Jackie was one of them. So if she had nothing. At least she had Jackie. 

“JAN!” A familiar voice screamed through the hallways.

“JACKIE!” Jan shouted back, her voice hoarse with tears. 

“Oh my god, Jan.” Jackie broke down into tears as she pressed her hands against the door of the locker. Jan was inside there. She had been inside there for three hours. So strong. She was so strong. 

“We’re going to get you out of here, okay?” 

“I trust you, Jacks.” Jan whimpered. An energy bar and an empty stomach had not been enough for the girl to stay standing and the door was the only thing that kept Jan upright. 

“So strong. You’re so strong, Jan.”

“Um, guys?” Crystal held up a crowbar and a hammer. “Which one.” 

Gigi walked over to Crystal and took the crowbar, their hands brushing delicately together sending butterflies down both their stomachs. Jackie continued to look at Jan’s tired eyes through the slot in the locker. Jan’s eyes were the only thing she had of the girl at the moment. All she could do was drink in all the exhaustion, fatigue and pain that they held, in hopes that it would alleviate the slightest amount. That’s all she had wanted to do. Spare Jan some pain. So they stayed there while Gigi and Crystal discussed how best to open the locker door, eye bearing into one another, connected by the uniqueness of their souls. 

“Crowbar, it is then. Jackie move.” Crystal said a note fear buried deep beneath false confidence. She could not afford to mess up. “Jan try to shift as far as possible to your right side.” 

With a shocking amount of vigor, Crystal shoved the crowbar into the side of the locker and with a violent twist, the half-dead body of an Italian teenager fell out of the locker and into Jackie’s arms. Her body was covered in bruises and cuts, they stung as Jackie’s tears fell onto them. Jan hated it when Jackie cried. She was so beautiful when she cried. her eyes went glassy and it look like they were melting but you could see in those pool of honey brown that there was pain. And Jackie shouldn't ever be in pain. Why was Jackie crying? She shouldn’t be crying that was wrong.

“Why are you crying.”

"I'm so sorry. I got mad at you and then this happened and now you're gonna hate me and-"

"I could never hate you. So why are you still crying." Jackie lets out a chortle. 

“Because you’re okay. And I love you. Not in a friendship kind of way.”

“I love you too, you dummy.”

“I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Don’t be sorry, Jackie. Just promise me something instead.” Jan said weakly, her weight now completely shifted into Jackie. They lay with Jan’s head cradled on the floor as Crystal and Gigi watched on the sidelines, careful not to interrupt the tender moment.

“What?”

“Don’t ever leave me.”

“I don’t think I could do that if I tried.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope y'all didn't find that too hard to stomach. Thanks for reading, my loves.


End file.
